Knotsewmuch

I wish to make an announcement. I want everyone to know that I am now in possession of the PERFECT HUSBAND!  What gives my (admittedly) flawed spouse this title?  It's easy.  He has run away from home. The company he works for, (Pirates Arrr Us) relocated to Spokane Washington.  Which, if you are counting is about 500 miles from Portland, where we currently live. When I heard of the impending move, my response was "Bye, have a nice life!"  Because, Spokane... really?  Really not. My (admittedly) flawed husband (let's call him "Bruce") explained that he really wanted to work for Pirates Arrr Us for a longer time, to improve his resume, not that it needs improving IMHO.  He also told me that his co-driver (we'll call him Del) was going to move, and that Del wanted to retire in about a year (or so) and he REALLY wanted Bruce to keep working with him, and the company REALLY liked them working together... SO... he wanted to go. Well, now...

I have been hired to teach an eight week knitting seminar for ACTUAL adults!  I know, the reality of conversation may kill me. Anyway, last week I went through my pattern hoard and weeded out the kitty hats and pencil cases and cutie backpacks in mini-sizes.  I added some prayer shawls and coffee cup cozies and a couple of shawls.  I should be good. First class is on the dishrag.  They all want to do the dishrag.  We talked about how you can extrapolate the dishrag to a shawl (actually a hap) by knitting it looser, and bigger and stopping in the middle.  I used the word  extrapolate!  Actually, I used the word extrapolate with my kids, then I explained the word "extrapolate".  Never pass up an opportunity to increase vocabulary!  I'm taking a sample of a poncho using the dishrag (which we found while cleaning "Herself's" Room this weekend) to class tonight.  We shall see what they make of that! Kind of nervous!  Working w...

Adventures in Linear Thinking Don’t get me wrong.   I love my phone.   My phone connects me to the world, my friends, my business.   It provides me with the name, address, hours of operation and directions to the nearest Vietnamese/Ethiopian/Barbecue restaurant no matter where I roam.   My Smartphone and I have a wonderful relationship. However, like all relationships, it has its problems.   One of these is my ToDo list.   I am a list maker.   I have friends who swear I have a list for everything, and somewhere (they are sure) is a list of lists.   Here is where my smartphone and I have relationship problems. I have downloaded probably fifteen “ToDo” apps.   None of them are quite right.   I finally found a British one which works okay, but is less than ideal.   At least it understands when I spell things funny.   I have a memo app, a sticky-note app and a “reminder” app that dings incessantly for 15 minutes p...

I am old.   I roamed the earth as a child with dinosaurs as companions.   Electricity was a latecomer.   I say this as a disclaimer for what is to follow.   I was a Nerd before Nerdism was cool.   I was a Nerd before it was mainstreamed and there were Nerd gatherings on a large scale.   That is why I am jealous. I recently attended LeakyCon in Portland Oregon with my teenage daughter (because none of her friends could afford to go and I was not going to let her go by herself).   For those of you out of   the know, LeakyCon is a gathering of fans of the Harry Potter Novels (Potterites).   They have quite kindly opened their doors to fans of Supernatural (Supernaturalists) and fans of the Doctor Who series (and its spin-offs) (Whovians).   Thus it has become a polyfandom of epic scale. I found myself, one Friday morning, surrounded by approximately 4,000 people much younger than I.   They were attired in fan t-shirts, Eto...

In this world there are things which are inherently wrong. The list is long and varied.   Who knew one of these was a lace shawl in economy class on a European vacation?   Yet here I sit, me and my WIP shawl.   I was going to get a lot accomplished, after all, I have ten hours of sitting, right?   I was going to get at least to the next pattern change. Guess not. First on the list of "why nots" is the sheer number of people on the plane.   They walk by, they jostle elbows, they squirm.   Heck, I squirm.   Who designed these seats? Second, evidently my brain goes into a test pattern on a plane.   Yarn over, slip-slip knit becomes equivalent to string theory.   Incomprehensible to my poor brain.   I have often referred to economy as 'cattle class', and apparently it's what I deserve.   Moo. Third on my list is the service.   I have not flown for a long time.   Okay, a very long time.   All right, Li...

A couple of weeks ago, I took a couple of teenage girls to the movie "The Hobbit".  This experience and several others have caused me to formulate a complaint. The movie was too heavy on swordfights and short on actual Tolkien to suit me, and I waited the entire movie for Smaug who remained elusive.  That, however, is not my major complaint. Why do filmmakers have to distract me with knitting?  I spent a great deal of the movie working out the patterns of various knitted garments worn by characters in the movie.  As an aside, it is almost impossible to take notes in the dark confines of a theater.  I saw Dwarvish mitts, Hobbit vests as well as several other tantalizing glimpses of knitting flashing by on the screen.  Now I have to rent the DVD when it comes out and freeze frame at the exact proper moment.... While I am complaining about the Hobbit here, the worst movie of all time for perpetrating this outrage is "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" st...