Sunday, January 20, 2013

Movies must stop this.

A couple of weeks ago, I took a couple of teenage girls to the movie "The Hobbit".  This experience and several others have caused me to formulate a complaint.

The movie was too heavy on swordfights and short on actual Tolkien to suit me, and I waited the entire movie for Smaug who remained elusive.  That, however, is not my major complaint.

Why do filmmakers have to distract me with knitting?  I spent a great deal of the movie working out the patterns of various knitted garments worn by characters in the movie.  As an aside, it is almost impossible to take notes in the dark confines of a theater.  I saw Dwarvish mitts, Hobbit vests as well as several other tantalizing glimpses of knitting flashing by on the screen.  Now I have to rent the DVD when it comes out and freeze frame at the exact proper moment....

While I am complaining about the Hobbit here, the worst movie of all time for perpetrating this outrage is "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" starring Johnny Depp.  I spent the entire movie chasing knitted garments and afghans across the screen, scribbling hieroglyphs frantically in the dark.  I'm sure people in the theater thought I was possessed.

So, movie makers of Hollywood (and elsewhere), if you are going to show cool knitted stuff in your films, at least have the courtesy to offer a pattern book in the lobby as I exit.  Thank you.